edwardsloverbitch

I miss the way you looked at me Like I was the best thing in the world How you made me laugh when I just wanted to cry How it felt when you held my hand and read my palm The butterflies and sparks that surged throughout my body The way your arms felt when you hugged me The random poems you wrote for me Talking about Buddha Trying to learn French Running away from those we didn't want The days we talked for four hours on the phone Being the first to tell me I was beautiful Billy Clapp, when I should have kissed you Told you how much you meant to me Should have stopped chasing him Should have ran to you But I didn't And you found her Left me b

I can still smell you See you lying next to me. Making me laugh . Your fingers stroking my hair. The first time you said I love you It's still in my mind. The fear, the joy, the anger. Still there. Our first kiss. The first time you touched me. Pleasured me. When we were one. The first time I said I love you. In my mind, Still there. Our first fight. When you told me everything. Me begging you to stay. You walking out the door. In my mind, Still there.

What happened to everything you said and did? Was that all just a lie? You broke me. Tore me up inside till I could no longer be. My escape you turned into a prison. I hide in my corner and close my eyes hoping you all will disappear. I wish you didn't exist. That it was all just a nightmare. But you're real and the scars are still there. So the pain stays and you eat away at me. And I sit hoping it will all end. That's where you'll find me. Scarred and bruised. Right where you want me.

"EWWWW!!!!" Benny exclaimed over the phone after I finished telling her everything that had happened. "Oh whatever!" I said. "You're the one who dated him!" "Yeah but he didn't touch me in naughty places!!!" She exclaimed. I sighed and fell back on my bed and stared at my cousin's pictures. "You're my best friend." I said. "You have to be nice to me about stuff like this." "Since when have I ever been nice?" she asked. "Good point." I replied. "Have you told Danny boy?" she asked. "Oh god not yet." I replied. "I can already hear his girlish squeal of scandal." She laughed. "Well you know he's gonna find out." she said. "Well when he calls I'l

I sat at the kitchen table shaking. I was thankful it was dark so he couldnt see me. "Sure." I said. "What do you want to talk about?" He leaned against the stove and bowed his head. "The whole sex comment I made." "Oh." I said.  "What about it?" 'Well I know you want to lose your virginity to someone you trust." he said. "And I was wondering if you trust me enough." I took a deep breath not sure what to say. Before I could even speak Jake's head popped out of the doorway that lead upstairs. "What ya guys doing?" he asked. "Nothing Jake we'll be up in a minute." Axel said. "What are you guys talking about?" Jake asked. "You're

Before we got to Axel's we had to stop at Tanner's to get a shitload of video games to keep us occupied while we waited for Spencer and Jake. Axel lived out in the middle of nowhere. Or as Benny and I called it Egypt. He lived in a two story farmhouse that was extremely old and they had only just repainted and updated it. It was two stories and was repainted a chocolate brown with a green trimming.  His house was surrounded by a barn, a guest house, a couple of garage like buildings. The back area was over grown with weeds and trees. He had seven dogs four of which stayed outside and three stayed on the front yard. I loved the biggest one the